As part of our Online Safety Series, Robyn Treyvaud is providing expert advice on keeping your family safe online.

Cyberbullying is a prevalent problem within society and, therefore, it is often spoken about in the media and among parents. During discussions about how to prevent cyberbullying, people will frequently remark that the most obvious solution is for children to simply switch off their devices. For many parents, this is an ideal based on their own childhoods, which were Internet free. For our children, however, unplugging from the Internet isn’t always an option.

Why Taking Devices Away Doesn’t Work

Understandably, many parents struggle with the notion that their children’s lives are so digitally focussed from such a young age. Yet, the reality is that the Internet is where many children go in order to socialise, learn, explore, and play. Eventually, it will also be a space they use for their tertiary education and, most likely, their career. So, it’s important that children establish digital literacy and resilience from a young age. These skills will also help to minimise cyberbullying occurrences.

Furthermore, while many people see cyberbullying as a separate issue to conventional bullying, it’s important to understand that the two are closely related. Cyberbullying is not a unique occurrence itself, but rather an extension of face-to-face bullying; we often see children who are bullied at school being bullied online, and children who bully at school bullying online.

The best advice we can give to parents about how to prevent cyberbullying is to stop seeing the confiscation of electronic devices as anything more than a Band-Aid fix. Needing to access the Internet is inevitable, so withholding access to it in order to prevent cyberbullying is hardly any different from protecting your child from conventional bullying by forbidding them from leaving the house.

Furthermore, while the overwhelming majority of children claim that they would want their parents to be there for them if they had an upsetting interaction online, 90% of parents whose children were being cyberbullied were unaware that it was occurring. The most common reasons children gave for not confiding in a parent were: fear that it would make the situation worse and fear that they would be punished and have their access to technology taken away.

How To Stop Cyberbullying Before It Starts

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.

This age-old rhyme was originally intended to encourage resilience in the face of name calling, but can desensitising children to the impact of words actually do more harm than good? When we create the impression that words aren’t capable of causing harm, it can lead to a decreased sense of accountability.

Cyberbullying is not an external threat that we can simply hide our children from, but rather it is a threat that is perpetrated and perpetuated by children. Therefore, the most effective way to combat cyberbullying is to educate children on safe, respectful and responsible online behaviour.

This can be challenging because children who instigate or participate in online bullying aren’t always aware of the effect that their online actions can have for other children. This is largely because, when people communicate between screens, the interaction is less personal, which removes empathy from the situation. Screens also allow for children to be anonymous, which can embolden them to try out new language (i.e. swear words they’ve heard) or say mean things that they wouldn’t say to someone’s face.

Cyberbullying prevention is a community-wide commitment, but it starts in the home. It should also start from a young age. In particular, parents of preteens have influence and authority which diminishes over time. Therefore, every parent of a young child should make an effort to:

Set a good example of online behaviour Teach their child about safe and responsible use of technology from when that child first starts using it Understand where their child spends their time while they’re online Help their child to be competent online, and develop a strong moral compass Educate their child on what to do if they witness someone being bullied online Clearly explain what cyberbullying is and how to recognise it when it occurs Encourage their child to be forthcoming if they partake in cyberbullying themselves Explain the importance of maintaining privacy online Teach their child effective communication and conflict management skills

Parents should also try to take an active interest in what their children are doing online, and support them in their early explorations of cyberspace. As with any undertaking in a child’s life, continuous practice will guide their learning. Allowing your child to practice using the Internet within safe parameters will ensure that they develop online proficiency, which is a vital skill in this digital age.

About Wangle Family Insites

Wangle Family Insites are dedicated to helping families stay safe online. Our revolutionary app is able to actively monitor network data and detect online threats as they arise, without giving parents access to their child’s private content. This helps to preserve parent-child trust, while still ensuring that parents are able to monitor their child’s online activities. If a threat is detected, an alert is sent to parents in real time. Alerts include leading information about the online risk, expert advice on how to respond, and details of where to go for more information.

To Keep Your Family Safe Online…

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